Bitch Face

My sister took this pic and emailed it to me, calling me “Bitch Face“.

What the hell is wrong with her?

A few of you asked, when I twatted this photo, if it was TLF.
No, it is his cousin. But here is recent pic of TLF:

Can you believe it ???

Also, this is our most recent rescue. We started out fostering her, but it looks like she has a home. Yes, that makes six dogs. We are the dog equivalent of “crazy cat ladies”.  Her name is Elvira and we think she is a Min-Pin/Chiguagua mix.

And once again, we are keeping those boys in the above pic for the weekend.  I suppose we are gluttons for punishment (and an extremely dirty house).

My grandmother was the BFS*…and she would have approved that message

There was one person on this earth who thought I could do no wrong. Well, she KNEW I was often wrong, but my grandmother always had my back no matter what.  Sadly, we lost her suddenly yesterday.

I inherited my inappropriate sense of humor from my Memama, so  I dug up some things that I’ve written about her in the past.  Celebrate her life with me by reading  just a sample of why I am who I am.

The time we embarrassed my mother on a tour of Bellingrath Gardens.

The time she described Britney’s perfume.

Just one of her typical comments.

The time she exposed a member of the Kay-Kay-Kay.

One of the many times she helped me out of a jam…no questions asked.

I could fill page after page of funny stories about her. Perhaps I’ll share some later, but I’m quite honestly wiped the hell out right now.  Those of you who pray, please say one for my mother. She’s having a tough time.  Thanks, friends.

* [definition of BFS here]

Oh my! Check out the vadge on that ham.

Many thanks to Shelly.

BTW, she says their BBQ rub is really good.  (I hope their sense of humor is too)

Amazing transformation of Sam

Some of you may remember that we rescued a couple horses a few years back. I doubt I posted pics though because they were so disturbing. (I’m too lazy to go back and look)

We chose Sam for TLF and sent him to a trainer and now is the GREATEST little horse.  Just look how far he’s come.

When we first got him, I wasn’t even sure he would live:

 

The next  one is from the vacation trip from hell, when Tammy-no-legs rescued me. (OMG, that still gives me shivers)  I think we’d had him about a year at this point.

And this is from the past weekend:

I can hardly believe it’s the same horse. He has the best temperament and makes a fantastic child’s horse. I’m so proud of this baby.

Yes, that is a rope attaching the back girth. We were in a pinch and there is nothing we can’t white trashify.

I taught TLF to clean and oil his saddle.
Not sure why he needed a gun. LOL

Look at the tally-wacker on this thing!

If you follow my twats on twitter, you already know that we are bottle feeding an orphaned squirrel. But, you haven’t seen this…

Maybe they are all like that, I don’t know. This is my first time caring for a squirrel (dbn).  But, HOLY COW!

Those damn shitmunks

Karlene’s “English challenged” mother explained to us why the cable went out at her house…

The cable guy said squirrels ate through the cable, but I think it was shitmunks. We have so many shitmunks around here this year.

From here on, chipmunks will be called shitmunks at our house.

Nothing like free seafood

…that’s what I was thinking while we (meaning THEY) were cleaning our fish.  Then I considered the $150 in diesel, $80 gas for the boat, $40 for live bait, plus beer and groceries, and my thought turned to “these fuckers better be delicious”.

We took K’s bosses with us to the coast this weekend for some fishing. It was HOTTER THAN FUCK, but we did okay despite it.

The teeth on this cheesing sheepshead made me LOL

We fished a reef behind the casinos, made from rubble left by hurricane Kuntrina. Few more pics here.

 

I miss seeing TLF every day because of conversations like this

Syd:  Karlene got to neuter a dog this week, all by herself.
TLF: Cool
Syd: Do you know what that means?
TLF: No
Syd: It means she cut his noo-noos off.
TLF: Oh, cool.

[he processes this for a minute]

TLF:   WHY DID SHE DO THAT?

Syd: Well, because…ask your mother.

Syd shows her ass

While launching the boat this weekend, my DUMB ass wore Crocs. Umm…bad idea. I busted my ass so bad on the boat slip…

From Downloads

TMI, I know. But is this not the most awesome bruise EVER?

Since I have this thing turned on…

Our dearest Roro sent me a lovely LLP.

But the best part is the provenance (as the fags on Antiques Roadshow like to say).

Syd: Did you take the picture?
Ro: No, some innocent elderly friend of mine did, and then posted it on Facebook. Entirely delightful.

God, I **LOVE** that, Rose.

I don’t know if any of you remember my biggest pet peeve, but bitch-ass Shammy sure does.

So, I’m scrolling down the link she sent me, thinking I must have mentioned to her that I like Marisa Tomei at some point. She looks lovely…

Oh my fucking GOD…she did NOT!!

———————————————

Last weekend, we kept TLF and another nephew for several days. Maybe next time they’ll take me seriously when I say “stop kicking that god damned ball in the house!!”.

What we’ve been up to lately: boat rescue

My mom finally got tired of looking at the boat that’s been stored in her yard since Katrina. She told Karlene and me, “If you can get it out, you can have it”. Dude…don’t EVER offer a spic Latina something for free.  Despite 6 flat tires that were embedded into the ground, she had that fucker out in 30 minutes.  [boat pics here]

We don’t know what the hell we’re doing, but we’ve managed to get it clean, both motors cranked, and all the lights working. Now, we need to get a couple other things fixed and I hope we can sell this bitch. Our hope is to get enough $$ for it to buy a pontoon boat to put at the coast, for the family to use.

And because SOMEBODY is bound to ask, the small boat is my dad’s too. My good-for-nothing brother-in-law borrowed it a couple years ago and wouldn’t return it. So, we kind of confiscated it. I’m taking it to the coast this weekend, where btw, I’m going to see Kathy Griffin Saturday night!! (row 14 TYVM)