Just trying this shiz out

Not dead yet

I’m still around. Just about have this place cleaned out.  The last little bit will take several days though. Things would be moving more quickly if I hadn’t used a serrated knife to open a package…and nearly removed my thumb. Motherfucker HURTS!

Since I have nothing to say, enjoy this:

Leona Lewis cancels tour due to heartbreak, wears WRONG size shoes

This shit has GOT to stop.

[source]

TLF has a phone…for now

TLF and I set out today with the intention of buying prepaid cell service for him, using his mother’s old phone. A couple hundred dollars later, he had a brand new phone with camera and all the good shit, plus one month of prepaid service. I told him I would renew it monthly until he loses it. I figure I’ll be off the hook by Sunday.

Meanwhile, he is texting the shit out of me, Karlene, his cousins, and apparently, his mother, given our text exchange:

Sis: I could kick your ass for this phone. He is sitting in his playroom, texting me. One wall away.

Syd: HAHAHA. Unlimited texting.

Sis: I know. Asshole.

Already, I’m thinking, “Money well spent“.

 

Fashion Citations at Mad Men premiere

Big Shamu apparently wants me to stroke out. Why else would she send me this page?  Well, it nearly worked.

Let’s get started:

Now, this one might not technically qualify for a citation, but I think they are ugly as shit.

Bonus: John Hamm’s wiener:

Time Out & a little POA

Dude, I chose the hottest day we’ve had all summer to start cleaning out the warehouse. I have a 40 yard dumpster (one of the big mofos) about 3/4 full.

Operation Shut Down (aka Get me the fuck OUT of here) is in full force.

Consequently, I won’t be around much for a few days.  Sorry if you don’t see me commenting on your blogs. I’ll do my best to catch up, but with no internet at my house (fuck you, AT&T), it’s hard. [that's what she said]

I’ll leave you with something purdy:

Just…Wow.

Her name is Yasmin LeBon and she’s been married to Simon LeBon forever. Lucky bastard.

Can you believe she’s 45?

Self Checkout annoys Syd

I resent being forced to use the self checkout kiosks at Home Depot.  I could have stood in line with the others at the ONE real checkout, manned by a real live person. Fuck THAT.

It rarely fails that I don’t have an item w/o a bar-code or some other hiccup. And the volume. Why do they have to be so god damned loud? And RUDE sounding to boot.

“Put your shit back in the bagging area”

“Scan your next item, Scan your next item”…

I’m TRYING, you BITCH!

[Shit! Did I say that out loud?]

One look over my shoulder tells me that I indeed said it loud enough for the folks two aisles over to hear.

[And lady, you can cover your kid's ears, he's going to hear worse.  Soon, if you keep glaring at me like that. Cunt]

[shrug]

One more thing: I’m surprised they left my comment up here. So far.

The Jake project

We brought him home Sat morning. By the afternoon, he had already put a couple of holes in the sofa and broke the doggy door. He does fit through it, in case you were wondering. I’ll have to get that on video for you.

He’s a bit underweight, even for a 1 yr old, but we’re working on that. We’re committed to keeping him, but it is going to take a LOT of patience.

He is exceptionally sweet, but I suspect the reason he’s had 4 owners is because he is destructive. He can yank the covers off the bed before you can open your mouth to scold him.

Angelo and Diablo want to like him, but I think they are intimidated by his size. When they are on the sofa, they will lick his face. So, that’s a good sign.

Julie hates him, but we already expected that and it probably won’t change.  Sadie wants to play with him, but she’s a drama queen and SCREAMS every time he runs at her. It’s actually pretty funny.

He sleeps on a pallet on the floor. I know you were about to ask.

I guess that’s it. I am worn the fuck OUT from the weekend.

Guess what I’m getting this weekend

It’s something we REALLLLY need.

Another dog.

Not just any dog. A HUGE fucking dog. (Mastiff/Great Dane mix)

I see you, looking at me like this…..

I know.

He’s a year old and needs a home. We are going to give him a test run this weekend to make sure he can get along with our other FOUR dogs.

I’ve told K that she can have ONE “extra” animal at a time. This is it, until we lose one.  Please remind me I said that when she comes home with something else.

Given that I am allowing her to bring home this beast, I think I can assuage my guilt for what I’m about to do. My mom brought me some fresh Gulf (oil free) oysters this morning. I’m about to pig out. Karlene doesn’t need to know. Lisa, Sage, Liz, and the rest of you who have her number…DON’T. EVEN.

Speaking of seafood, one of my favorite food bloggers posed an interesting question, is it still shrimp cocktail if they serve it with the shell and vein intact? For $12, no less. I say FUCK NO.

Would you eat a lasagna sandwich?

I’m going to give a big FUCK NO to first one. The second one, I’d totally eat, at least until the bread got soggy. And this is despite my peave about sloppy sandwiches.

Besides, it’s not that different than one of my favorites, a spaghetti sandwich.  Seriously. Raise your hand if you’ve never done this. (you weirdo)