Bellingrath Gardens and crotch mahogany

My mother, g-mother and I took a guided tour of Bellingrath Gardens one summer day. We were herded in a small group with an elderly guide, through the beautiful gardens and then into the Bellingrath home. It was exquisitely furnished with antiques and beautiful rugs, just as the Bellingraths had left it.

We all stood around the dining room as the old guide gave us minute details of the furnishings, etc. I was totally bored and really not paying attention until I heard the words “crotch mahogany.” Blink. No, she did not just say that… there she said it again. Oh shit. I feel the giggles coming on. I stare at my feet and begin to sweat. I pinch myself and repeatedly think, “be an adult, be an adult. You are in a room full of people. Adults. Don’t embarrass your mother & g-mother.”

Then I make the fatal mistake of a sideways glance at my g-mother, only to see her painfully stifling her on giggles. She cut her eyes to look at me…and it’s ON. ***A full fledged bellow from both of us.*** My mother, probably out of sheer mortification joined in. Everyone stared. The three of us filed out of that house, still laughing, forgoing the rest of the tour. God, it was great.

To this day, we often describe furniture as being made out of crotch mahogany, just to make the other laugh.