Guess what today is?

K turns 41 today.

And guess who hasn’t bought her a fucking thing? (yes, I suck. I know)

I had already decided what to get her, but was procrastinating. Then she threw me a curve ball this weekend and asked for a wood router. Mmmkay. I’d much rather shop for dykey stuff anyway. (Please also make a note that procrastination worked in my favor again)

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Today might also be the day that I knock my sister out cold. No, she’s not being a bitch, just the opposite. I swear she’s fucking crazy** because there’s no medium with her. She’s either a total bitch or else kinda hyper and way too chatty. If I must choose, give me the bitch. Please.

**link opens to mp3 of Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry. Killer song, but NSFW, unless you work at a strip club. And if you *do* work at a strip club…ahhh, never mind.

I just realized that most of you will no doubt make some correlation between those song lyrics and me & my sister. Just don’t. Nasty.